i've moved again. apparently I have blog add.
and blog commitment-phobia.
and other types of blogingitis.

http://www.vavabene.tumblr.com

to quote keanu, "wooooah"

"Rovelli, the advocate of a timeless universe, says the NIST timekeepers have it right. Moreover, their point of view is consistent with the Wheeler-DeWitt equation. “We never really see time,” he says. “We see only clocks. If you say this object moves, what you really mean is that this object is here when the hand of your clock is here, and so on. We say we measure time with clocks, but we see only the hands of the clocks, not time itself. And the hands of a clock are a physical variable like any other. So in a sense we cheat because what we really observe are physical variables as a function of other physical variables, but we represent that as if everything is evolving in time."
– Tim Folger
http://discovermagazine.com/2007/jun/in-no-time/article_view?searchterm=nature%20of%20reality&b_start:int=1

organization

it's frustrating how last night, while trying to fall asleep I was thinking like a blogger. I thought in complete and even edited sentences.
"thought thought thought-no wait, THOUGHT thought thought"

Now I can't remember any of it- and I wonder why I would even think like that. Since when did I become fluent in the language of facebook, twitter and (though I'm really bad about it) blogspot? I hate when I catch myself doing that- thinking something and then edited it to the appropriate twitter-size, or facebook-wittiness factor.

Maybe I need to keep a notebook with me all the time so I remember the things I have to talk about. This would also come in handy when meeting new people. I could use it as a small-talk registry. Outline all the things I could say to any kind of person anywhere. Awkward silences be damned.

I also hate how these posts have little to no organization. But now I just thought, "But your BRAIN has little to no organization. Wouldn't it be really weird if all your thoughts were organized?
"FIRST we're going to think about what you want to eat. Then, once we get that out of the way, we can move on to all the things that bother you at work. If we can cross that off our list in a little while, then and ONLY do we have some wiggle room for day dreaming."

Wow I need to get back to work.

ouch

"She looks like a transvestite flamingo dancer at a funeral"
I love you Michael Kors

inevitable glasses

it terrifies me how much time i spend staring at the computer. After 8 hours of staring at it at work...it seems kind of sick that a lot of the time I come home and stare at it some more.

My 20/20 vision is probably getting read its last rights

the namib desert

I honestly think this is one of the most beautiful pictures ever taken.

It reminds me of dreams.

Photo by Álvaro Sánchez-Montañés of one of the houses in the abandoned Namibian diamond mined towns.

color of the year

At the moment, nothing makes me happier than this picture, along with the caption "Moth, you look ready for a pride parade!"

Pantone announced (awhile ago) that the top color for 2010 is turquoise. It seems popular in fashion, interior design, graphic design...
I'm starting to think my dream job would be to work at pantone and just deal with colors all day.

Mondays are hard and I just feel like I'm at a dead-end when it comes to any creativity I feel towards writing. I finished (and by finished I mean e-mailed the proof, waiting for edits, waiting to print...a process that will take waaaay longer than I want it to) a design (12 page spread) for the Curriculum Guide today. It was sort of a rushed project, but I forgot how much deadlines inspire creativity.













Listening to: Nothing
Last thing googled: search flickr by color

keep my eyes open

I'm feeling sort of deliriously exhausted at the moment. I kind of want to just close my eyes and go to bed at 10:30...I've almost gotten used to the fact that on weeknights I fall asleep at the same time my grandma probably does. I don't really know why- in high school I woke up at 6:45 or 7, got home at 3:30 and probably had at least 2 hours of homework...but I don't recall ever feeling this consistently tired.
Is that what getting older is all about? Just having less and less energy, drive...? God I hope not.

I stumbled on these pictures- closeups of eyes. For some reason I think it takes all the beauty out of eyes because I'm just reminded that they are a bunch of cells and nerves and ugly things. When taken apart the body really is an ugly thing-maybe I'm just thinking that because I recently watched 10 minutes of this show called Born Without A Face on TLC. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. Google it-I dare you.

This weekend I went to Long Beach with Brandon and Ed. Even though I'm from Los Angeles, there are lots and lots of cities (even cities like, 30 minutes away) that I've never been to and Long Beach is one of them (except for a trip to the aquarium that I took when I was little). I actually thought it was pretty awesome and got to eat some amazing food and just enjoyed being somewhere outside of LA for a little while. It was kind of refreshing. The Surly Goat, Happy Endings, Citizen Smith...they're all getting a little repetitive, even though I love them.

I have a lot more rattling around in my brain right now but I honestly don't even have the energy right now to figure out what any of it means. I always take a shower before I go to bed. I hate feeling dirty when I'm trying to sleep. So now I think I'm like Pavlov's dog when it comes to showers. I take one and instantly I'm ready to pass out.

Last thing googled: Big Mama's and Papa's (my favorite pizza place!)
Listening to: An old Law & Order in the background

BLOCK

Things that are bothering me at the moment:
1. I realized I have a John Mayer song on my ipod, and it's playing right now. When did this happen??
2. I'm using my ipod (w/headphones) at work because there's been a fucking baby crying ALL MORNING at the daycare center next door. That's it-no kids for me. Ever.
3. I feel like shit. I went to a free stand-up comedy event at the Parlor yesterday. Half of the comics were hilarious. Half made me squirm awkwardly in my seat.
4. I don't know what I want to have for lunch. I'm sick of everything there is around here. And I'm sick of spending money.
5. Creative block!!!!

It's taken me like, three full days to come up with any kind of layout design for this curriculum overview I need to have done in the next 2 weeks. I'm reminding myself of stop-and-go traffic. I add one element, then spend 20 minutes on google or stumble, then add another element. It's not because I'm lazy. I swear. I've just figured out my method for unblocking the block.
I stumbled on this article about how different designers beat their creative blocks. One guy (I forget who he was) said "What are you talking about? I never have blocks. I just design. And then design some more. I'm always inspired."
Bullshit.
I think if you're constantly "inspired" you're not ever really inspired. It's like being constantly, 100% happy. Would you really know what happiness really felt like if you'd never compared it to sad?

Anyway. I'm rambling because this is my latest attempt to unblock my brain. Because my method IS to stray and distract myself. Every 10 minutes or so I have to go look at something else, look at some other design, figure out what it is that makes it so good and then shelve it away in my personal repertoire.

The screen grab tool on my mac is like, seriously the greatest thing ever. Look at some of the amazing things I've found:









Each of these designs is so freaking amazing for such different reasons. The entire coliseum built with type? Amazing. The colors of the flourishes and antique paper used on a book cover? So pretty. The 60's SHAG inspired birth announcement? I didn't think two colors could ever go together so well.

Yet I'm still stuck. I have the bare bones, the skeleton of a layout for this thing. I probably just need 20 more hours of distraction:






















Last Google Search (giving LK credit here): Pattern Brush Corners
Listening to: Girl and the Sea//Beams

stuffed

if I had/when I have an apartment, I would/will sooooo get this.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/52845687/liam-the-little-red-fox-full-size-new

i'm a stoner not a drinker

it's come to my attention, after years of trying to just "get with it", that I am not a drinker. I'm not a drinker because I don't particularly enjoy it, because I don't particularly have the same reactions as most people who like to drink.
Most people: Drink=drunk (happy/silly/whatever)=hungover
Me: Drink=hungover

I don't get the sillies/giggles/whatever, and on the rare occasion that I do, it doesn't last long and I pay for it within the next hour. And this is with a very very limited quantity.

This shouldn't really be a big deal except for 2 things.
1. The world revolves around being drunk. Or, maybe not the world, but anything social and anything fun usually involves "drinking-drinking games-solo cups-bar hopping-etc." When everyone around you is drunk and happy, it's hard not to feel awkward. You're told to drink to feel socially lubriated, to relax, to have fun, to be social. College=Drunk. Partying=Drunk. The whole world is drunk, except for me. And people find that very weird.
I kind of relate it to another thing I've always noticed:
Stand outside for 15 minutes with a cigarette and no one will look twice.
Stand outside doing nothing for 15 minutes and people think you're psycho.

2. Everyone thinks that, when I don't drink, I sit around and judge them for it. I don't. I really, honestly don't. In fact, I don't really mind going out, sipping on a coke while everyone else downs beers. I still have fun. I still like to go to bars, to socialize and have fun.

When it comes down to it, I've discovered I'm a stoner, not a drinker. Yet, a lot of people will judge me for it. The word stoner usually implies something bad- memory loss, the prevalence of "dude" in your vocabulary, apathy, an obsession with Pink Floyd.
Someone who drinks every weekend, or drinks socially, or just enjoys a cold beer every night receives none of the judgment. It doesn't seem fair.