keep my eyes open

I'm feeling sort of deliriously exhausted at the moment. I kind of want to just close my eyes and go to bed at 10:30...I've almost gotten used to the fact that on weeknights I fall asleep at the same time my grandma probably does. I don't really know why- in high school I woke up at 6:45 or 7, got home at 3:30 and probably had at least 2 hours of homework...but I don't recall ever feeling this consistently tired.
Is that what getting older is all about? Just having less and less energy, drive...? God I hope not.

I stumbled on these pictures- closeups of eyes. For some reason I think it takes all the beauty out of eyes because I'm just reminded that they are a bunch of cells and nerves and ugly things. When taken apart the body really is an ugly thing-maybe I'm just thinking that because I recently watched 10 minutes of this show called Born Without A Face on TLC. It was the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. Google it-I dare you.

This weekend I went to Long Beach with Brandon and Ed. Even though I'm from Los Angeles, there are lots and lots of cities (even cities like, 30 minutes away) that I've never been to and Long Beach is one of them (except for a trip to the aquarium that I took when I was little). I actually thought it was pretty awesome and got to eat some amazing food and just enjoyed being somewhere outside of LA for a little while. It was kind of refreshing. The Surly Goat, Happy Endings, Citizen Smith...they're all getting a little repetitive, even though I love them.

I have a lot more rattling around in my brain right now but I honestly don't even have the energy right now to figure out what any of it means. I always take a shower before I go to bed. I hate feeling dirty when I'm trying to sleep. So now I think I'm like Pavlov's dog when it comes to showers. I take one and instantly I'm ready to pass out.

Last thing googled: Big Mama's and Papa's (my favorite pizza place!)
Listening to: An old Law & Order in the background